My Immortal
by Moonchild10
Summary: *** Nny has done a terrible, terrible thing. Will he be able to live on, or will his life fall apart? Story Now complete, sequel soon maybe.
1. c h a p t e r o n e

Disclaimey: I don't own JTHM or anything. OK? OK. And please no flames. I've had enough flames. This takes place in my version on JTHM comic #9. Note: Devi doesn't look like she does in any of the comics in this one. She has chin length black hair, about the same length as in I Feel Sick. PS, if you like fluffy & sweet stories, this isn't one for you.  
  
Chapter One:  
  
*/*/* Nny trudged toward the Mcbarfy's restaurant, head cast down. He was aware of the freezing wind whipping at his cheeks, but he couldn't really feel it. He was so numb.  
  
He walked into Mcbarfy's and seeing that they had a freezy machine, he went over and poured himself a cherry doom. He went up and paid for it, and the cashier looked at him funny just like everyone else. He sat down at a table and started to slurp his freezy. As he drank, the voice of MEAT sounded in his head, "BOO!"  
  
Nny spilled his freezy all over the table. The wave of red rushed also over his hands also. He looked down at his mess, and at the red that covered his palms. He remembered the last time he'd seen his hands red, and felt tears burn his eyes. Poor, poor Devi. He tried not to cry. But it was no use. He ran out of Mcbarfy's and leaned against the outside wall, trying to keep his tears in. He remembered yesterday, and the terrible thing that had happened.  
  
*/*/* Nny was pretty happy that night, because of Devi giving him another chance and all. The date they went on was fun, and they both had a good time. But when they went back to Nny's house again, that was where it went wrong.  
  
They plopped down on the sofa and talked for a while. Nny was having the best night of his life. He knew he wasn't going to mess it up this time.  
  
"You want some tea?" Nny asked after a few minutes.  
  
"Sure. Here, I'll get it," Devi muttered.  
  
"No. I got it," Nny said, heading into the kitchen.  
  
In the kitchen he started to make tea. He noticed a knife lying on the counter. He started at it for a few moments, and then shook off the familiar feeling he'd been getting and went back to getting tea. Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice in head. (OK, I can't remember which Doughboy made Nny kill anymore. Sad huh? My mom forbids JTHM, so now I can only read them when she'd gone, meaning never. So bear with me here, OK? I'm gonna get to read 'em soon though, when she forgets. She forgets easy)  
  
"Hello Nny," said the voice of Psycho Doughboy.  
  
"Doughboy!? You're gone!" Nny said aloud.  
  
"My form may be, but not my voice. The girl, she is back, eh? You must kill her," P.D. said.  
  
"No! Not Devi!"  
  
"You care for her, yes? Think of what is best for her. She wants death. Everyone wants death. Death means release from this earthly hell. Think of her, Nny. Release her. Release Devi," P.D. said.  
  
"No! Devi doesn't want to die! She wants to live! I'm finally with her again, and you can't destroy it this time!"  
  
"It's not destroying it, Nny. It is truly preserving it. This lovely relationship you have, it may end. But if you eradicate her now, you will see her again on the other side when you depart this life, and all will be as it is now. An eternity of bliss. Don't let the chance slip away Nny!" P.D. said.  
  
"No!" Nny said, covering his head with his hands. He yanked at his hair in ineffective attempt to keep the voice out his head.  
  
"Conserve the passion, Nny. Don't let it die. Release Devi."  
  
"No!"  
  
"You must. You will. You are insane! You will bend in whichever way I want you to. You are too lost to control your emotions, to control your actions. Kill Devi. Kill her and protect her. Don't let her get hurt in this world anymore," P.D. said in his familiar persuasive tone.  
  
Suddenly Nny heard something.  
  
"Hey Nny, are you in here?" Devi asked, poking her head into the room. She stared at Nny. He was shaking uncontrollably, his hand inching toward the knife that lie on the counter. "Nny? Oh no, not again," Devi said, backing up. But she stopped backing up. Nny had grabbed the knife.  
  
"Nny? Stop. It's alright. Don't-stop it," Devi said gently, holding her hands up, shielding herself. She started forward a little, hands still held in front of her in order to stop any strike Nny might throw. He lashed out at her with the knife, cutting her palm open. She glanced at the blood coming out of it. "Nny! Calm down! It's me!" Devi muttered. She'd never suspected this would happen again.  
  
Nny neared her, advancing. She was terrified, she was almost positive that she was going to die. Suddenly she reached out and pulled Nny into her arms in one last attempt for life. She hoped, prayed that he would realize what was going on. He did.  
  
"Devi? Did I-sorry," Nny said, a shocked look on his face. Devi said nothing.  
  
And then suddenly, he heard that voice, Psycho Doughboy, in his head again.  
  
"Kill her."  
  
"No!!!!!!" Nny screamed out loud, causing Devi to look at him in confusion.  
  
"YES!"  
  
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nny yelled.  
  
But he felt the hand holding the knife raising against his will. Psycho Doughboy was controlling his actions! He tried to fight against it, but it was no use.  
  
He heard Devi's flesh rip almost before the knife hit her. Her neck tore into a mess of scarlet. Her arms slackened around him and she fell backwards. The sight of her bleeding was enough to let Nny be able to overcome the force of Doughboy and he caught her before she hit the ground.  
  
"Devi," he gasped in disbelief at what he had done.  
  
"Nny why-" she choked. He tried to hold her up but she collapsed against him. He slowly lowered her and lay her gently on the floor.  
  
"Devi! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-I-please be OK," Nny breathed.  
  
"Why did you-" that was all she was able to get out.  
  
"I don't know! I didn't mean to, honestly!" Nny gasped.  
  
Devi's neck was swimming in ruby rivers. Nny put his hands to the wound, and drew them back covered in Devi's blood. He must have struck her artery, because the flow was getting more and more constant.  
  
"I'm sorry! Please be alright! I'm so sorry," Nny wept.  
  
"It's alright. Garg, am I bleeding?" Devi asked feebly.  
  
"Sorry to say, you're bleeding a lot. I'm so sorry. I didn't have any control. I never meant to hurt you. Please stop bleeding, " Nny said tensely.  
  
"I don't think I CAN stop," Devi said.  
  
"Please be alright. Please Devi. Please don't die," Nny wept softly.  
  
"I'm trying," Devi said, wincing in pain.  
  
Nny covered his eyes in horror. He'd done this. He'd done something so horrible. HE was a monster. He'd cut down something he'd truly cared about. Devi was so pure, unmarked by his imperfection. In truth, to Nny, Devi WAS purity. She was everything he'd been living for since the first time her eyes met his own. The only reason he'd willed himself to keep breathing. The only thing that kept the noose away from his throat. For him, she was life and eternity. Without her, he had no life.  
  
"Don't go. Please hold on," Nny whispered. He leaned down and kissed her briefly.  
  
"I can't do anything about it," Devi murmured.  
  
"Are you going to-"  
  
"Yes."  
  
And then when she said it he knew that it was true. She was going to die. He leaned down and held her to him.  
  
"Please don't go."  
  
"Sorry," Devi whispered weakly.  
  
Nny held her close for a long time.  
  
A many hours later her breath stopped.  
  
"I'm sorry," Devi whispered, barely audible. And then she was silent.  
  
"Devi?" Nny asked, tears seeming to singe his eyes.  
  
Devi didn't' answer.  
  
She never would.  
  
*/*/* Nny collected himself and sniffled his tears away. He started walking for home. He'd done this to himself. Devi was dead because of him. He'd killed her. He should have stayed away. And now Psycho Doughboy was gone for good, even his voice. Why couldn't he have stayed away from Nny? He'd been happy. He'd had another chance. He'd been in bliss, and then Doughboy had showed up.  
  
Nny dropped to his knees in the middle of the sidewalk.  
  
"Why did you have to do this to me! I was so happy!!!!" Nny screamed, shaking his fists. Passerby stared at him as he burst into tears. He got up and started to run for home.  
  
Johnny reached house #777 in minutes. He slammed the door behind him and slumped to the floor, sobbing. His tears were like acid in his eyes, painful and torturous because of what they were for.  
  
Was he crying for Devi, and her death, or was he crying for his own loss of her? He missed her so much. He hadn't even missed her this much after he'd tried to kill her the first time and she'd avoided him for quite some time. And now she was gone forever.  
  
"Nailbunny. Please talk to me. Help me," Nny shed tears as he spoke.  
  
"You killed her," Bunny's voice echoed through the chambers of Nny's mind, and in a few moments the head of the small dead rabbit floated before him.  
  
"yes! Devi's dead. I feel so utterly responsible, although Psycho Doughboy was currently possessing my mind. I should have tried harder to stop it. I..I loved her, Bunny. I really thought we had a possibility to make things beautiful again. I supposed we had a chance together this time. I really did. I believed I could have her back...and she wouldn't get hurt again. It was so laughable that I actually thought I wouldn't victimize anyone I actually got intimate enough with to let my affection reach out to them," Nny said, sounding disgusted with himself.  
  
"Don't blame yourself, Nny. It was partly your fault, but not entirely. You could not stop it. As for love, it is only human to allow yourself to become personal with an member of the opposite gender. It is not something to be controlled," Bunny said.  
  
Nny stood up and walked into his bedroom. He walked over to the bed and knelt beside it. Devi lay in it. Her neck was bandaged, though he knew she was dead. He couldn't just let her bleed. He touched her forehead gently. It was still slightly warm. She'd only died around two hours ago.  
  
It had been midnight when he slit her, and she had died at two AM. It was now four AM. Two hours ago she'd been breathing.  
  
"Oh Devi," Nny whispered. He could feel himself starting to cry. He stared down at her lifeless form. Her lips were still curved slightly into a smile. He couldn't understand how. Her face was so peaceful. "Hell, you're lovely, Devi. Even after your life, you're still beautiful. I love you," Nny whispered. He watched her for a few more minutes, and then he left the room. 


	2. c h a p t e r t w o

Monkey.  
  
Chapter Two:  
  
Nny sat tearfully against the living room wall. Reverend MEAT was trying to persuade him to eat something.  
  
"Come, Johnny. Eat a little. You must be starving. All you've had this week was a freezy. I can't believe you're still alive," MEAT said.  
  
"What's the point in eating? I don't have anything else to live for," Nny mumbled.  
  
"Come now, dear boy. You're only being melodramatic. She was only a woman. Surely you shouldn't take the death of one of these creatures so hard, after all the murders the Doughboys persuaded you to commit," MEAT said.  
  
"Devi was different. She understood me, MEAT. I loved her. She made me glad to be alive. Should I be glad now, when the only thing that kept me from suicide is gone!? I should just kill myself," Nny said.  
  
"KILL yourself? Remember what happened last time? I had to sit here and watch you bleed to death for hours after I was brought here. And then I had to watch you be dead. It's no fun. Suicide isn't the answer. Ooh, I know! Let's go out drinking!" MEAT said.  
  
"You really think alcohol is going to help me at this point? No! All it would do is intoxicate me. I've been intoxicated by my own fear for years now! Making it even worse with some substance of man's sins isn't going to make my all-time low any better!" Nny growled.  
  
"Fine. Then let's get a freezy, or go dancing!" MEAT said joyously.  
  
"NO! I don't want to go anywhere! I just want to curl up and die!" Nny screamed. He whipped out his Die-ary and began to scribble.  
  
Dear Die-ary,  
  
Devi is dead. I killed her. I feel completely responsible for her death. I wish I could crawl under a rock and never come out. Doughboy took over my mind again and made me kill her, but it was still me who completed the action. I can never face myself again. I was beginning to think I was getting recovered, and then THIS. This is just too much. If I didn't already know from experience that suicide solves nothing, I would kill myself right here. I sincerely believe that I am the object of all the torture inflicted upon mankind for their amusement. It is not natural for someone to suffer like this. I have suffered terribly since I was very small. My whole life it seems has been nothing but a pointless attempt to create something better for myself. Sometimes I feel that I......  
  
"What's that you're writing? Sounds like you're feeling sorry for yourself," MEAT said gleefully.  
  
"I am. Boo hoo for me, right? The whole world's out to get Nny. So let's all just throw dirt at him now," Nny murmured sarcastically. (Oh no, stupid teen angst mode, AGAIN?) He slammed out of the house, walking down the street. He walked a few feet but turned around and went to the window of the house beside his. He found it open, and poked his head inside. The small boy inside saw him, and let out a terrified 'squee'.  
  
"Hello there Squeegee," Nny said miserably, pulling himself up onto the windowsill where he sat and stared at Todd.  
  
"H-hi Mr. Scary Neighbor Man. Shmee says you want to chop me up and hide me in the walls," the little boy said, looking at Nny with pure terror. Nny tried to give him a smile, but only succeeded in scaring Squee even more severely.  
  
"M-Mr. Neighbor Man.are you going to hurt me? 'Cause Shmee says you want to hurt me," Squee said. Nny sighed.  
  
"No Squee, I'm not going to hurt you. Shmee..Shmee was mistaken. I won't hurt anybody. I just want to talk."  
  
"Oh. My parents never want to talk. Shmee says they're bad people. He says they don't love me. But they do love me. I know they do. Shmee just doesn't know," Squee said.  
  
Nny shook his head sadly. How was he supposed to tell this small boy that his parents hated him? Really, children were so innocent, so uncorrupted. They wouldn't know pure odium if it looked them in the face. He gave a sad little sigh and shook his head.  
  
"Listen Squeegee, your parents...they may not be the greatest, but you've got them at least. Me, I've never had parents. Well, I have, but somebody killed them a long time ago. A really long time ago. I know it's hard, but you've got to try and accept them," Nny said.  
  
"They don't love me. Shmee is right. I try to make him say they do, but I know he's right. Mommy and Daddy hate me," Squee said sadly.  
  
"No Squee they-"  
  
"Yes they do, Mr. Scary Neighbor Man."  
  
"Well...Squeegee, maybe they ARE bad people, maybe they think they don't love you. But you're their son. Somewhere deep inside, they really do love you. Just give them time. They'll come around eventually. Someday everything's going to be alright. You'll see."  
  
Squee looked up at him with his big shiny little boy eyes. "Really?" he asked.  
  
"Really. Just give them some time."  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Nny."  
  
"Don't mention it. Oh, here, I brought you a present," Nny said. Squee's little face contorted in fear, his eyes widening at the prospect of what the scary neighbor man could have brought him.  
  
Nny produced something out of the pocket of his jacket. Squee was relieved to see that it was only a notebook. It had a black cover. On the cover was written 'Todd Casil' in fancy gold lettering. There was a border going around the edges.  
  
"Here ya go Squeegee. For your stories. Designed the cover myself," Squee said, handing him the notebook.  
  
"Thanks, Mr. Nny Man," Squee said.  
  
"No problem. I have to leave now. G'bye Squee."  
  
"Bye bye, Mr. Neighbor Man."  
  
Nny leaped out the little window and headed back home. He was still extremely disheartened, and walked very slowly. He slammed into his house and sank to the floor. He sat there in despair for several hours, and then suddenly he leapt up.  
  
"I've got to leave. That's it. I've got to get out of here. I can't take it anymore!" Nny said.  
  
"What? Leave? You can't leave!" Rev. MEAT said.  
  
"Yes I can! This place holds too many memories! I killed Devi here! It's all I can think of when I think! I need out! Devi's dead because of me! I don't deserve to live!"  
  
"Then kill yourself or something!"  
  
"Fine, maybe I will!"  
  
"Hey wait, when you die, you're going to hell at this point! You'll never see that woman again if you die right now!"  
  
"I don't deserve to see her again!" Nny said, whipping a knife out of his pocket. 


	3. c h a p t e r t h r e e

Chapter Three:  
  
"Wait! Johnny! Stop!" MEAT yelled.  
  
Johnny stopped.  
  
"I must die!" he screamed.  
  
"Fine! Kill yourself! I've struggled to keep you alive, and this is how you thank me? Well, I'm through! I'm leaving Johnny!!!!!! I'm leaving!" MEAT said. Johnny just stared at him.  
  
"MEAT?" he asked. He kicked at the doll. It didn't move or speak. He smiled. MEAT was gone. "OK, now back to suicide," he said. He raised his knife, but suddenly he remembered something.  
  
"Devi. I've got to say goodbye to Devi," he said, heading into the bedroom.  
  
Devi still lay in her original spot. Nny knelt beside her.  
  
"Hello Devi," he whispered to her immobile face. "It's over now. I'm going to kill myself. Not in here of course, I'd never want you to see. But you can be at peace now, wherever you are. I'm getting what I deserve now. I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you. All I've ever done is hurt you and love you. And even my love hurt you. I know now that my being alive only hurts the ones I care about. With you gone, there are so few I can count them on my fingers. I don't want to hurt anyone else. Shit, I know you're dead. But I like to think somehow, up in heaven, you can hear me right now. Well, I came to say goodbye to you. Goodbye Devi. I'll always love you, no matter what happens. But even when you're dead I can't stain you with my love anymore," Nny said. He stared at her lovingly for a moment, and then left the room.  
  
Once in the living room, he pulled out the knife again. As he held it over his wrist and prepared to launch an attack, he heard a voice.  
  
"Johnny, Johnny. You're going to kill yourself? Now, what will that solve?" the voice said. And suddenly Johnny stared toward the bedroom.  
  
"Devi?" he asked in shock, heading for the bedroom door.  
  
"No, no. I'm not in there," Devi said.  
  
"What? Where are you?"  
  
"Silly. I'm dead, remember?"  
  
"Then how are you-"  
  
"I'm in your head, Johnny."  
  
"Devi? You're in my head? How?"  
  
"You've always got a voice in your head, Nny. One who helped you or hurt you. Who did you think was going to take that burger boy's place?"  
  
"You're my new voice?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you going to help me or hurt me?"  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
"Well, I killed you so-"  
  
"I'm going to help you, Nny. You think I'd actually hurt you, after everything you did for me?"  
  
"All I did was cause you pain. Oh shit I'm so sorry for everything. Devi, if I could take back everything I did to you-"  
  
"No, you saved me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You saved me from becoming like everyone else. You showed me that some people had hearts. I..I love you Nny. I'm going to help you become sane again. You're a good person. You just need a little help."  
  
"So I tried to kill you once and turned you paranoid, then when you were kind enough to give me another chance I DID kill you, and you're going to salvage me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You don't actually think I'm petty enough to hold a grudge against you? Even if you did kill me, it's the right thing to do helping you. I want you to be saved," Devi's voice said.  
  
"Why would you want me to be rescued?"  
  
"So someday I can see you again, when you go to heaven."  
  
"Oh, Devi. I'm so sorry I killed you. I...I love you."  
  
"See, impossible things CAN be possible."  
  
"Devi I..thank you. Thank you for everything. I don't know what I'd do without you."  
  
"Well, you don't have to know. Now, how about a freezy. Heaven knows how long you've been without one."  
  
"I had one yesterday."  
  
"But you want one now."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Hee."  
  
"Devi can you...oh fuck you can read my mind!"  
  
"Well duh, I'm inside of it."  
  
"Oh shit."  
  
"Well, it doesn't matter. It's not like I'm going to laugh at anything you think. Now c'mon, let's go get that freezy now. Cherry doom, right?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Well let's go then."  
  
"OK. Hey Devi, that time on our first date, can I ask you a question about it?"  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"Alrighty then. If I hadn't run away, when you were going to kiss me....were you JUST going to kiss me, or how far would it have actually..GONE? You know, were you going to..were we going to...you know..um.do...you know?"  
  
"I know what you're thinking, Nny. I'm not sure. If everything worked out..probably."  
  
"Fuck Devi, don't you think it was a little early for..that?"  
  
"Maybe. But I wasn't thinking. Caught up in the moment, you know? Now, what about that freezy?"  
  
"Oh, right," Nny said, heading for the front door. He opened it and headed out toward the 24/7 store.  
  
END.  
  
Well, how did you like it? Hope ya did. Sorry if it was a little weird or anything. Well, I'll see ya later!  
  
~Moonchild 


End file.
